


For You, I Was Strong

by SecretlyADog



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Colorblind Soulmate AU, Connor Gets a Dog, Connor Tries His Best, Connor deviates if that wasn't obvious, Cussing, Cyberlife tries to ruin his life multiple times, F/M, Finished, I tried to avoid spoilers but towards the end it gets really spoiler-y, I'm adding oneshots to the end of it though, I'm only good at fast burns, Machine Connor apparently has feelings? hmm, Machine Connor comes to ruin everyone's day, POV Alternating, Reader goes by female pronouns, Reader is pretty feisty, Slow burn? What's a slow burn, So that's why it keeps updating, Spoilers for the best ending, The main fic is done, oops sorry, some things won't make sense if you haven't seen the best ending, this actually gets pretty fluffy eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-21 11:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15556596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretlyADog/pseuds/SecretlyADog
Summary: Cyberlife couldn't fix the fact that Connor couldn't see color. It didn't really matter in the end, it was just odd.Connor knows that androids aren't alive and only humans have soulmates.Why, then, did color bloom in his vision when he touched you for the first time?(That one soulmate AU where everyone is colorblind until they touch their soulmate for the first time, but with a slight twist.)





	1. Hey Pretty Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> \- = end of intro  
> \--- = time skip  
> * = POV change
> 
> Heyy ya boy is back at it again with another x reader fic  
> "But Secretly, how is this one going to be any different from the other ones that you never finished?"  
> Well... this one is actually already done.  
> I'm gonna be posting it in chunks every day, so no worries~ This thing will never die.
> 
> On that note, I'm gonna explain my version of the soulmate AU:  
> Kids can see color up until they're like, 7 or something like that. So basically, they know what color looks like and what color is what, they just... can't see them.  
> Connor knows what colors look like because Cyberlife just uploaded it to his memory.
> 
> Feel free to ask questions about things, I'll probably have the answer, a lot of stuff just didn't fit into the flow of the fic :,)
> 
> Also; this is dedicated to Cami, who helped me greatly over the course of this fic, providing things such as (but not limited to) support, the title, their OCs (Kris and Vince), and a bunch of ideas :,)
> 
>  
> 
> the title "For you, I was strong" may or may not be a reference to a song from the genre of music that I listened to the most while writing this thing :,)

No matter what they did, what they checked, how many times they rebooted him, he couldn’t see color.

Everything was fine. Cyberlife had checked and checked again - his optical sensors were running just fine, nothing was wrong in his processors, there was no disconnect between them, and they’d replaced both numerous times before they sent him out into the world. Nothing could make him see colors.

Eventually, they had to give up. RK800 cost  _ a lot _ of money, and they couldn’t just scrap him because his systems were, for some reason, determined to make sure he was colorblind. They didn’t expect that it would hinder the investigation, but they’d keep a close eye on him anyway.

“Lieutenant Anderson. My name is Connor, I’m the android sent by Cyberlife. They found it important for me to tell you that I’m colorblind.”

Lieutenant Anderson had given him a weird look. “What, Cyberlife didn’t want to spend the money to make you see color? Or do you have a soulmate or something?” He’d chuckled darkly, as if such a thing was absurd. And maybe it was. But it made Connor feel uneasy for some reason. To calm himself, he reminded Lieutenant Anderson that he wasn’t alive, so how could he have a soulmate? “Gettin’ a little defensive there, Connor,” he muttered under his breath. Connor ignored him.

After a few missions together (and of course, Connor’s first and only mission before Hank: a negotiator, saving a little girl), aside from Connor having to ask Lieutenant Anderson what color something was every so often, it was clear that Cyberlife was correct in their assumption. Being colorblind didn’t hurt anything - except the sleep schedule of his technicians, who were still trying to figure out what was wrong.

-

It was a remarkably slow day at the station, so slow that it would’ve been extremely painful for Connor if he had the ability to be bored, and it was only ten in the morning. Somehow, nothing was happening at all, and Connor had already gone through everything he’d needed to see, so he was almost grateful just to have  _ something _ to do when Lieutenant Anderson, who was clearly fighting off a hangover, said “Connor, could you get me a coffee?”

Another cop at his desk, named Vince, perked up as he walked past him into the break room. “Get me one too.” Another person (Connor thought his name was Kris) farther away called “I want one too!”

Connor reached out for the coffee pot and hesitated. Something seemed… off. He scanned it and found that the water pump had malfunctioned. The machine was old anyway, and made subpar coffee, so he’d heard. Making a mental note to tell someone what part to order later, he returned to Lieutenant Anderson. “The coffee maker is broken.”

Lieutenant Anderson rolled his eyes and muttered “Aw, shit” under his breath. “Well, here. There’s a coffee shop across the street,” he said, digging something out of his back pocket. He handed a few dollar bills to Connor. “Coffee’s gotta be better there than from that stupid thing anyway,” he muttered, turning back to his computer.

Connor asked Vince if he still wanted coffee and accepted money from him as well. Apparently Kris had been paying attention because he had money ready for him. He stepped out of the police station and walked to the quaint coffee shop Lieutenant Anderson told him about. Slightly intrigued, he noted the lack of a “No androids” sign.

This was turning out to be more of an adventure than Connor had originally bargained for. The woman up front who seemed to be stocking pastries smiled up at him. “Welcome!” she said, seeming just as happy to see him as she would be with any other customer despite his suit and LED blatantly pointing him out as an android. It was interesting to Connor,  _ very _ interesting, that you were being so nice to an android you’d never met before. He wondered if you were like this with humans too.

*

You’d watched him walk from across the street with curiosity, so it didn’t surprise you when he said “The coffee maker at the precinct is broken.” He hesitated for a split second and then continued with “I’ll take three plain coffees.”

You bit your lip thoughtfully, eyeing him. “They’re making you get the coffee?” He gave a small nod as confirmation. Wasn’t this that prototype that Cyberlife sent the DPD to figure out deviants? And they were making him get coffee? “Slow day?” You hoped.

Something in his expression shifted ever so slightly as he nodded again. “Unfortunately.”

_ Well, if it was only that… _ You nodded back in cautious approval. “Alright, I’ll get you those coffees.”

You made them and he paid with cash, nothing unusual, although you took a moment to note that they hadn’t made him pay for them. “You want your receipt?” Without hesitation, he nodded. You handed it to him delicately (he was, after all, holding three cups of coffee) and he said a simple “Have a good day” before he turned around to head for the door.

“You be careful out there,” you warned when he’d only gotten a foot or two away from the counter. “There’s some crazy people. Don’t get yourself hurt, alright?” He paused and looked over his shoulder. He went to say something, thought better of it, and then nodded.

“I’ll try my best.”

*

Connor was about to walk out the door when he heard another female’s voice come from what must’ve been the kitchen. “It’s almost a shame, isn’t it?” The voice was hushed so a human from his distance couldn’t hear it, but it didn’t account for his superior hearing.

He shouldn’t eavesdrop. But he was curious.

“What is?” Your voice. He just remembered he never caught your name. He was too busy analyzing your expressions to notice a name tag.

“That he’s an android.”

“What? Why would you say that?” You sounded… oddly indignant.

“I’m just sayin’, he’s pretty handsome.”

Connor waited for your response. You said nothing.

“You didn’t notice? I thought you were only colorblind, not completely blind!”

“... No, I didn’t. Shit, you’re right, he’s hot.”

Connor could swear he didn’t feel anything - no emotions, no other feelings, no urge to smile - but his mouth involuntarily quirked up at one corner in the beginnings of a smirk.

“Did you catch his name?”

“... SHIT.”

He opened the door by pushing against it with his back before he could be caught in the act.

When he got back to the precinct and two people (of course it was Anderson that remained seated) swarmed him for their coffee, he held out the receipt. “Does anyone want this?”

Lieutenant Anderson took his coffee as Connor made his way to their desks. “No one takes the receipt. Just keep it,” he grumbled. Connor pocketed it. He’d have to remember to throw it away later.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually didn't remember what song I was referencing when I made this the title but it's Your Text by Sundial (which I know because of a Mysme animatic, oops)


	2. Tell-Tale Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor flirts without realizing he's flirting.  
> Reader thinks he's cute. (Duh.)  
> Connor pretends he doesn't have emotions while very obviously displaying emotions. He's not a deviant. And he's right. (For now.)
> 
> Also, less importantly in the grand scheme of the plot, Connor bonds with Hank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi it's tomorrow for me. i'm gonna regret this later today when I think "I wanna post another chapter" because joke's on you, you already posted one! you dingus. maybe a double upload? idk. i'm tired.
> 
> YO CAMI WROTE THEIR OWN FIC AND IT'S BASICALLY AN AU OF THIS ONE so check it out if you hate yourself as much as I do and like feeling pain - https://archiveofourown.org/works/15557706  
> or just read to the end of the chapter, there's a link down there.

Coffee maker still broken. He’d pointed out what part needed to be replaced but no one seemed to care enough to want to buy a new part. That was fine by him. In the morning he couldn’t exactly do anything but wait for Lieutenant Anderson to show up, so he busied himself by going to get coffee for everyone who asked again. (Including the lieutenant, who probably needed it.)

There you were again, cheerful as you likely always were. “Hey! You’re back!” You seemed so happy about it. 

Connor nodded. “Hello again.”

“Same thing?” you asked, unfazed by his lack of an emotional response.

Connor nodded. “And a donut,” he added, remembering the empty box of them on Lieutenant Anderson’s desk. As you put the order together, he thought through a few different outcomes of things he could say. He decided on one.

He paid (Lieutenant Anderson was starting to warm up to him, maybe paying for his stuff would help on that front), took the receipt (didn’t expect anyone to take it, but just in case) and, as he was pushing his way out the door again, he paused. It was time. “My name is Connor, by the way.” You looked up at him curiously. “You mentioned to your coworker that you forgot to ask for my name yesterday.” His mouth curved wickedly again, ever so slightly.

You looked utterly confused, then slightly suspicious, until finally your expression settled on wide-eyed realization. Your hand flew to your mouth as you realized what he’d heard. “I-” you began stuttering out an explanation but he merely winked and left.

*

So he had an ego, did he?

You found it a bit funny that he seemed to like being called attractive. They weren’t supposed to feel anything. He probably didn’t even realize what he was doing, though he seemed to enjoy teasing you.

Hm. Connor. “His name is Connor,” you repeated out loud to your boss Andrea later that day, “and he heard me call him hot.”

She laughed hysterically while you glared at her in embarrassment. “Oh man, that’s good!”

“Stop!” You tried to sound angry, but it sounded more like you were begging. “He heard you, too!”

Your boss, to her credit, made a face like she was genuinely trying to decide whether to care about that or not. She decided on the latter. “And yet you’re the one getting all embarrassed about it.”

“I’m the one who has to talk to him every time he comes in!”

“Oh, deal with it. He probably didn’t even care. Or maybe he did, maybe he liked it~” She was using that teasing tone again - it was annoying. Or maybe it just hit a little too close to home; it was very similar to what you’d observed. 

You made a noncommittal noise and tried your best to stop thinking about him for the rest of your shift.

*

The next day, Connor went back to the coffee shop at their request again. He didn’t really have a choice (but if he did, he’d still choose-)

Connor banished that thought before it could concern him and bought the new usual after greeting you. Lieutenant Anderson had really appreciated that donut. He’d even nearly  _ thanked _ Connor. If this was the way to get his partner to like him, then so be it.

“Hold on,” you said distractedly, scribbling something quickly on the receipt. Then you handed it to him. “There you go. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Why did you sound so hopeful? It made Connor feel-  _ nothing, because he is a machine. _

Surely he could afford to make you happy though? There was nothing wrong with that. There was nothing wrong with the small smile he gave you, followed by him nodding and saying “See you tomorrow.” Nothing wrong with him noticing the slight darkening of your face and taking pleasure in it.

… Perhaps he should run a systems diagnostic.

He ran it as he left out the door. Nothing was wrong with him. That was a relief.

All those troubling thoughts had distracted him from the note you wrote him. He shifted the tray and donut to one arm and put the receipt in his opposite hand.

You’d written your name on the back.

Why did that make him want to smile? And why did it slightly relieve him when, once again, no one wanted the receipt?

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters are short but like  
> the entire story is on Google Docs and it spans 37 pages and has 15917 words but that may change because I'm editing it as I go
> 
> This chapter's title doesn't exactly reference a song, it references the work by Edgar Allen Poe, but if it DID reference a song it would be Roaring 20s by Panic! At The Disco


	3. The Ice Inside My Cup Of Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor interacts with some of his coworkers, who are growing suspicious.  
> Reader realizes she likes Connor a little too much.  
> Secretly realizes she forgot to put "she/her pronouns" as a tag and feels bad about it.  
> Connor reveals his secret-that-isn't-a-secret to Reader. Because he trusts her. And wants at least one person to genuinely tell him that he probably doesn't have a soulmate and that he's fine.  
> Reader does not do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this chapter longer??? I think so.  
> Remember what I said about a double upload? yeah. I couldn't resist.

“Hey Connor-”

“Got it.” When they started to ask the exact same thing of him every day, eventually all they had to do was say his name in that tone and he knew what they wanted.

“Thanks.” It was the first time someone had thanked him. He was almost startled by it, but he continued on his way as normal.

When he stepped inside, you beamed at him again. You always did that. Why were you always so excited to see him?

“Hey,” he greeted you with that small word combined with your name on his lips, smiling his small smile at your instant happy reaction.

“Hey Connor!” Odd. You were blushing again. It was faint but there. Was it because he smiled? He smiled yesterday too, and you did it then as well, but you didn’t always blush when he smiled. He decided not to mention it.

You already had the order ready for him. He wasn’t sure why he was so touched by that gesture. Once again you told him to hold on as you scribbled something on the receipt. Connor said goodbye and read the note when he got outside again.

_ ‘Have a nice day at work!’ _

Connor wasn’t sure what a nice day at work entailed, but for you, he’d try.

*

His little smile, when it was genuine, had to be the  _ cutest damn thing you’ve ever seen. _

Yes, sometimes it was genuine, and you could always tell; it reached his eyes when it was real. Those… gray… eyes would sparkle with a hint of warmth when he smiled for real. You couldn’t stop yourself from blushing. You were sure he could see the reddening of your face (or you at least assumed it got red), but he never mentioned it, which you were grateful for.

You kept writing him notes, things like “You look really nice today!” or “Be careful out there!” You weren’t sure if he even liked them, so one day you handed him the receipt without writing anything. Connor raised an eyebrow expectantly and handed it back, waiting. You’d smiled and written “I appreciate you!”

One day, Connor looked troubled the second you saw him. He was thinking about something; his LED was flickering. You could tell the difference between his blue and yellow light even if you couldn’t see the colors themselves - it was the shade of gray his LED normally was, so it wasn’t anything to be alarmed at.

“What’s wrong, Connor?” you asked, tilting your head and pursing your lips in concern.

He searched your expression for a second, apparently deciding whether or not to tell you. Your name left his lips as if to confirm that he was speaking to you before he asked “Do you have a soulmate?”

_ Oh. _ You choked on nothing and it was his turn to be concerned. You held out your hand to silently tell him you were fine while you coughed violently. After a good ten seconds of this, you cleared your throat and looked up at him in confusion.  “Uh… no. Why?”

Connor glanced away for a second and adjusted his tie, contemplating. “... If you’re colorblind, do you  _ have  _ to have a soulmate? Have you heard of any cases of anyone not having a soulmate?”

You were even more confused now, but you thought about it. “... No. Everyone who’s colorblind has a soulmate, whether it’s platonic or not. I think I’ve even heard of an android having a soulmate once, but it was never confirmed and the articles about it are gone.” Apparently, that was not what Connor wanted to hear. His LED shifted to a shade of gray you’d never seen it turn before - was it red? Why was it red? His eyes widened ever so slightly, but he calmed himself down quickly.

“What’s wrong, Connor?” you asked again, even more concerned this time.

He studied you again. “I’m colorblind.”

“ _ What? _ Why?”

Connor looked… almost nervous. “Cyberlife tried to fix me but they couldn’t. My partner Lieutenant Anderson told me I might have a soulmate, which is ridiculous. I am a machine.” He sounded  _ very defensive.  _ You might as well calm him down.

… But your need to defend androids kicked in right when you opened your stupid mouth. “I don’t know. I think androids are alive - you especially. Why else would deviants exist?”  _ Shit. _

Connor set his jaw and tilted his chin up defensively. “Their emotions are caused by errors in their programming. Nothing more.”

“Okay, Connor.” Your brain cooperated with your desire to placate him this time. “If you say so. I trust you.” He instantly got flustered (or at least, his ‘emotionless’ version of it - a slight widening of the eyes) at that and looked away.

On this receipt, you wrote “I’ll always like you, whether you feel emotions or not.” For a second, you thought this was friendly. A very friendly thing to say, right?  _ Wrong. _ You looked up into his eyes after reading the note to yourself and found that the butterflies in your stomach that you had been ignoring for the past few days started fluttering around madly. You  _ liked _ him. That note was a confession  _ to yourself. _

You were crushing on an android that refused to believe that he could feel emotions.

You just barely stopped yourself from having a physical reaction to this. Either you were going to facepalm or you were going to cover your mouth in surprise at this revelation, but you didn’t want to have to explain it to Connor. Instead, you smiled at each other to say goodbye as you did every day and he left.

“Oh God,” you muttered quietly. “Why am I like this?”

*

Connor didn’t offer the receipt to anyone that time. The note was special to him even if he wasn’t quite sure why. He’d put it with the others he kept.

“Hey, tin man.” At this point, Connor recognized that the name wasn’t a jab at him - it was supposed to be a friendly nickname. It wouldn’t have hurt his feelings either way,  _ since he didn’t have them. _ Also, if it was meant to be an insult, it wasn’t creative.

“You didn’t ask if we wanted the receipt this time.” It was Vince who was staring him down, and although he showed no signs of it outwardly, it felt like his thirium pump regulator skipped a beat.

Connor calculated that there was a 94% chance that the man wouldn’t take the receipt if he offered it now. “I’m sorry. Did you want it?” Connor recognized the challenge in his own voice. It was almost too obvious.

Vince scowled at him for a minute while Kris studied him. The way he was being scrutinized made Connor want to squirm. “... No,” he finally said.

_ Relief. _ Connor nodded and turned away, going over to his desk.

“Hey, what’s up with you, Connor?”  _ Shit. _

He stopped and turned toward Kris, who looked genuinely confused. “Nothing is wrong with me. I ran a systems diagnostic a few minutes ago.” A lie, but he  _ was _ fine. He had to be.

“No, I mean…” Kris contemplated something for a minute. “We didn’t even tell you to get us coffee this morning. You just said you were going and went.”

Alarm. “You ask me to do it every day. I just made it so you didn’t have to ask today.” Connor ignored the way his pump regulator seemed to speed up.

“You sure nothing else is going on?” To his credit, Kris was really just trying to make sure Connor was okay. He could tell.

“I’m sure. If something starts going on, you’ll be the first to know.”

Kris smiled and chuckled at him. “Comforting. Thanks, Connor,” he laughed.

Connor nodded again and turned away, finally making it to his desk. Almost without incident, too.

The amount of times he nearly felt an emotion was disturbing. He’d have to get those errors under control.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references valentine by atlas


	4. Green and Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader almost goes to jail and Connor, asshole that he is, stops her. (Sarcasm~)  
> Reader and Connor finally touch for the first time. Oh no, I wonder what happens?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's tomorrow for me again...!  
> Double upload? Probably.  
> Shorter chapter because cliffhangers... I guess... I don't know why, I'm just gonna end up posting the next chapter in a few hours anyway

There were anti-android protesters in front of the police station. Connor felt a mild annoyance over this, and he’d allow this emotion. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to get to you...r coffee shop safely in this but he knew he had to try, didn't he?

…  _ Oh. _ Looks like you had come to him, unintentionally or not.

*

“Hey! You can’t do that!” A PL600 android was trapped in the middle of the protesters. Your boss had warned you to not go over there, not again. Not after last time. You were a bit of a hothead when it came to these things. You’d only barely avoided assaulting someone.

You shoved your way into the middle and grabbed the android by the wrist. The protesters were glaring at him, some of them taunted him like a predator playing with their prey. “You aren't touching him. He's doing nothing wrong.”

“Why so defensive over a piece of plastic?” one of them hissed at you, so you specifically aimed for that area of the circle to shove yourself through and bust the poor android out of the crowd. His face was emotionless but his LED was the shade of gray that yellow was.

“You’re doing a great job. Try to avoid these assholes in the future,” you said to him after looking him over to ensure he wasn't hurt. He nodded to you and said a quiet “thank you" before heading on his way.

You turned back to the crowd. “It isn't their fault you lost your jobs,” you snapped. “Its other humans. They're the ones that don't wanna pay you.”

“If they didn't exist in the first place, other people wouldn't have a choice!” The man who had challenged you earlier seemed to be the one directing the crowd’s hatred. They all glared at you, watching the ringleader take a few steps toward you as if to intimidate you.

Your temper flared. “Does that mean you have to hurt them?! You know you can get fined for that!”

“Are you saying that plastic can feel things? It  _ can’t. _ ”

“I'll make YOU feel things!” Your patience finally snapped as you got into the man’s face, but someone put their hand on your shoulder and you backed down to turn and face your possible assailant.

It was Connor. “I think we should go,” he said calmly, but it was a warning. You glared into those melted-milk-chocolate brown eyes of his and sucked in a breath to retaliate, something about you being able to take care of yourself, but the words were lost on your tongue and the outraged cries of the protesters faded into the background when you realized that… suddenly… the world got a lot brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references Green by Cavetown


	5. The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, colors are cool. Except to Connor. Connor is apparently scared of colors.  
> Reader tells Connor her feelings. Connor says "cool" in response.  
> Secretly progressively makes her chapter summaries more and more satirical to prevent from spoiling things that happen in the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello it's six in the morning, almost seven, and I can see the sun coming up and I haven't gone to sleep yet so why not post another chapter now, while what's left of my impulse control is completely gone?
> 
> okay this chapter is ACTUALLY longer. I couldn't find a good place to cut it off before I'd already copied three pages. But it does end on another cliffhanger because I, as a fanfiction writer, thrive on my reader's tears. Or something.  
> At least you know it switches back to his POV in the next chapter? Which... was probably obvious anyway, but.

*

Connor admired this new side of you that he saw.

He saw someone who could most definitely take care of themselves. He saw someone who was willing to fight for what she believed in. He saw someone who saw everyone as equals.

He saw someone who he could trust with his life.

Connor could tell you were  _ this close _ to ACTUALLY kicking that guy’s ass, which is why he had to intervene. He may be working in the police department, but he couldn't get you out of assault charges (even if he really wanted to), so he had to do something.

Yet, when you turned around to glare at him and potentially insist that he didn't need to take care of you (he would've believed you wholeheartedly), your retort died on your tongue. You saw it at the same time as him. and you both jerked away from each other as if you'd been burned by the other.

Connor could see the exact shade of your skin, the flecks of color in your eyes, the way the sunlight played with your hair color. He glanced up and saw the blue sky and the white wisps of clouds. He glanced down and saw the darker brown tones of your uniform and the blue lights on his.  _ He could see color. _ And by the look on your face, you could too.

_ Soulmates? _

Connor was… _ confused.  _ And  _ scared. _

What did this mean for him?

He knew platonic soulmates were a thing, but the way he felt about you wasn't exactly  _ platonic. _ He knew how he felt towards Lieutenant Anderson - it was a soft emotion, a warm feeling; he wanted to make him proud, he wanted to do something to see him give him that approving grin and say “Nice job, son" (he liked it when he called him son. Did that mean he wanted Lieutenant Anderson to be his father figure? He wasn't sure what that would feel like, he could only assume, but…) With you… the feeling was warm, yes, but it also made him feel…  _ hot. _ It was a hotness he felt in his chest that occasionally spread to his face. He knew he wasn't blushing - he couldn't blush - but if he could, he had a feeling he would be.

Only deviants blush.

Connor also had the urge to touch you, which he never had with Hank. He would now, but there were people watching and that wasn't exactly within his mission.

But… what if he wanted to? Connor wanted to touch your face, wanted to see those pretty eyes of yours lock on his and never look away. And… he wanted to protect you. Not from any outside threat; he knew you could do it yourself. He also knew you'd insist that you could. No, he wanted to protect you from yourself. Connor didn't want you to go to jail, and he knew you were very capable of getting yourself there. But how could you be with him if you were locked away?

**New mission:**

**Be with soulmate.**

 

*

Connor was studying you, looking… somewhat conflicted. He was showing more emotion than you’d ever seen him show, anyway. His LED was an unwavering red, indicating he was feeling some type of way - if you knew him well, it was likely heavy confusion. All you were thinking about was how much you wished you could kiss him as you studied the colors of him. His hair was a lovely shade of brown, and now that you were up close, you could see the white of his skin was only interrupted by the soft brown of freckles. And now that you were looking at his outfit… blue was definitely his color.

After a little while of studying you with his new sight, his eyes glazed over and his erratic breathing stilled. Something was happening to him, and you weren't sure what, but you had the feeling you should let it pass.

He suddenly gasped, LED flickering and eyes going clear again, and his expression immediately shifted to a strange mix of panic and longing. The emotions were pure and raw, though, and it was almost…  _ too weird.  _ But emotions suited him. Connor’s mouth twitched as if he was going to say something and then changed his mind. He tried again. “... I-"

“What the hell is going on out here?!” An older man - the infamous Lieutenant Anderson, if memory served correct (and you couldn't help but note that his eyes were blue) - was walking out of the police station and glaring at the rowdy crowd and then you. “Hey, shut up before I take all of you in for disturbing the peace! Connor! What the hell are you doing?”

Connor snapped his gaze to him, panic beginning to take over his features, and Anderson paused. “What's up with you?” he muttered, managing to convey disinterest and concern at the same time.

“Lieutenant Anderson?” You held out your hand to him and introduced yourself. You waited a moment, and he seemed to consider it. Finally, with a somewhat irritated sigh, he took it. 

“Call me Hank,” he muttered. 

You smiled as you shook hands. “I work at the coffee shop across the street. I have to talk to you.” The protesters had been jeering at you the whole time (they couldn’t exactly do any more than that, being in front of the police station and all), but with your attention hyperfocused on Connor, you’d managed to ignore it. Now you wanted to avoid it.

The lieutenant eyed you and then glanced at Connor, who was still mid freak-out. “This about him?” he asked, motioning toward him. You nodded.

“... Alright.”

You lead them across the street to the shop (which, now that you could see the warm colors of it, was decorated in a very lovely way. Props to your boss). Connor was deathly quiet, staring at you the whole time with a gaze that was somehow warm and far away at the same time. He was thinking about something - his LED was yellow. An improvement on before, but you wished you could ask him what he was feeling.

You locked up the shop and took down the “Be back in 5!” sign, trading it for a simple coffee-colored "Closed". Hank and Connor quietly sat at a table and waited for you. Hank kept trying to get Connor to look at him, but he seemed determined to stare at his hands as he performed coin tricks, no doubt to calm himself down. (Which he’d shown you before; he knew you were amazed by them. You loved watching him do them. He seemed to enjoy performing them.)

“So.” You sat with them and eyed both of them. Connor didn't move his head up but glanced up at you through his eyelashes for a second. Hank seemed irritated.

“Are you guys gonna tell me what's going on or what?”

“Connor?” you said softly, gently. He glanced up at you for real this time, lips slightly parted. “Do you trust him?” After only a second, he nodded, lips pressed together again. “Are you…?”  _ Deviant? _ By the way his eyebrows tilted down in concern, you could tell he understood. He hesitated a while before nodding ever so slightly. “Do you want to tell him or do you want me to?”

“What the fuck is going on?!” Hank finally snapped. Connor just looked back down at his hands.

“Well,” you started. “I couldn’t see colors until a few minutes ago, when your partner there touched my shoulder to get me away from the protesters.” 

Hank stared at you, seemingly uncomprehending. Then he turned to his partner. “Connor. Can you see colors now?”

Connor finally looked at him, stopping his movements with his coin and pocketing it. “Your shirt is brown and white. The table is dark brown. My arm band and triangle are blue,” he listed off, sounding emotionless.

Hank gave him a funny look. “Are you okay?” he asked, actually sounding worried.

“Not exactly,” Connor admitted, looking back down at his now-intertwined hands.

“He’s a deviant,” you said, looking over at Connor for confirmation. He nodded when Hank looked at him incredulously.

“Cyberlife is going to deactivate me when they find out,” he said, emotionless again. “I'm… scared.”

“I won’t let them,” you snapped, prematurely angry at them. “I’m going to keep you safe. I promise.” 

Hank studied you, raising an eyebrow, before he turned to Connor again. “I didn’t know you had it in you to become deviant,” he said, sounding oddly proud and indifferent at the same time. “Guess you didn’t really have a choice, though. How the hell does an android have a soulmate? Wait a second…” His gaze switched from you to Connor and back. Then he stared hard at Connor. “Is this why you were so excited to get over here?” Then his eyes widened incredulously, as if something had just occurred to him, when he looked over at you. “Are you writing something on the receipts? He stopped offering ‘em.”

Connor instantly tensed up, eyes widening in embarrassment but not leaving their position. 

You tilted your head, looking over Connor in confusion.  _ Was _ he embarrassed? This was a big change from the non-deviant who teased you about calling him attractive not too long ago. “Well, er, just… little notes… Little compliments, stuff like that.”

Connor took a deep breath but continued saying nothing.

“So Connor,” Hank started, and he tensed up even more, if that was possible. “What was your reason for hanging on to them, exactly?” Hank was teasing him. You could hear it in his tone. You’d tell him to quit teasing him but you had a feeling this was just how the lieutenant showed his love, so you let it be.

Connor sucked in another breath, but it was purposeful this time. He paused for a minute, thinking carefully, before he finally settled on “She wrote them for me. Was I not supposed to keep them?” He still hadn’t looked away from his hands.

You and Hank exchanged a brief look. Hank seemed like he wanted to ask you about his partner’s behavior and you shrugged. You both looked back at Connor.

“Alright Connor, what about the times you went over before you were asked? What about the times when you went back twice in one day?”

“Efficiency. I only went back again  _ once, _ Hank.” You and Hank were both shocked at Connor’s casual way of addressing him - you’d only ever heard him say Lieutenant Anderson - but you supposed this was nowhere near a business setting. Plus, he could say whatever he wanted to now. Him calling his partner Hank almost distracted you from calling memories of that day back to your mind. You’d been so excited to see him, and he seemed pleased by your delight… That small smile on his face as he looked into your eyes...

Pulling out of your memories, you studied Connor. He wasn’t gonna admit anything any time soon, but he was showing the same signs as you. You wished yet again that you knew what he was thinking. “Connor...” You sighed. “If you don’t like me, like ‘I’d date you’ like me, that’s fine. But  _ I _ like  _ you _ , and I wanted you to know that. I hope we can still be friends, even now that you know.” Connor finally,  _ finally _ looked at you, and his expression was… strange. Almost unreadable.

“Well. I’m gonna head back,” Hank said, pushing away from the table. “Just, uh… come on over when you’re done here, Connor,” he said, rather unsubtly. 

Connor’s expression shifted once again when the door to the shop closed - his lips parted again and he let out a soft sigh as his eyebrows drew together.

And then, finally, he spoke.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references the song of the same name by Jason Derulo
> 
> Also, I realize that androids don't like... zone out and then gasp when they deviate, but I like that headcanon and someone else wrote it in their fanfic so screw it, it's there to make me happy.  
> I also know they don't have to breathe but... headcanons. Breathing = more human, but deviants probably also instinctively use it to speak and convey emotions like humans do? idk
> 
>  **OH, ONE MORE THING:**  
>  I'm planning on doing oneshots from this fanfic's universe after we hit the end, but the thing is, _all of them are going to be requests._ So. If you ever get an idea at any point for a oneshot, whether it be Connor and Reader, Connor and Hank, whatever, comment it! I'll do my best!


	6. Don't Let Me Drown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Just kiss already Jesus Christ_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIPLE UPLOAD? yeah I felt bad. Now we get Connor's perspective! 
> 
> I can't tell how long this is cuz I'm on mobile, but...

Connor immediately recognized this as a bad idea.

Not the whole “leaving the protesters” thing, but the fact that Hank was coming along. If you expected Connor to say anything in Hank’s presence, you were mistaken.

All he could think about when they were on the way to the cafe was how much he wanted to love you and be with you, like in a real relationship, but then the reality of the situation kicked in.

Connor wasn’t even human. Would you even  _ want _ a relationship with him? Wouldn’t that put you in danger from the very people who he’d spared from your vengeance? Wouldn't he just complicate your life? Should he even tell you at all? Maybe he should just let you think you were platonic soulmates instead of telling you how he really felt.

That was the game plan right up until you told him you liked him.

That odd heat bloomed in his chest again and drove the air out of his lungs. Emotions were strange. Connor didn’t like the way they seemed so…  _ physical. _

But perhaps that was just part of being alive.

He got caught up in that thought process for a second, and during that second you’d mentioned something about staying friends even now that he knew. Was that really a problem with humans? Losing friendships over the way someone felt? Perhaps relationships were more complicated than he’d once thought. Then again, he’d only had free will for what, not even fifteen minutes? What did he know?

… Well, there  _ was _ one thing Connor knew. He knew that he lo-  _ liked _ you - definitely in the “I’d date you” way, as you put it.

So when he looked up at you, he thought he must’ve looked strange: trying to remain stoic but feeling some combination of pained, confused, scared, elated - too many emotions to comprehend, apparently, because the second his gaze met yours you looked concerned.

Hank left, and Connor barely heard what he said as he did so. Go back to the station…? Yes, acting normal was the best way for Cyberlife to not call him in. He supposed he could do that.

Connor let his expression show how he really felt as he thought for a moment, let out a sigh, and finally said something to you.

“I… like you too.” He hesitated. “I'm… sorry, I'm just… so  _ scared. _ ” Connor felt the need to be brutally honest with you. He wanted you to know how he felt. He wanted you to comfort him. “I know I keep saying that, but it's true. I find out I have a soulmate… and… it’s great.” Connor paused again. “No, that's not the right word - it's amazing. I never…” He shook his head, stopping himself from going on a tangent. He’d never experienced this before. These feelings were strange. “But now… Cyberlife is going to shut me down when they find out. I don’t…” His tone and expression went soft, warm - affectionate, even. “...want to lose you. I just…” He just what? He knew what he was  _ going _ to say, but he didn't know if you even felt the same way.

Apparently, Connor didn't need to worry. “You just got me,” you breathed, eyes focused on his. Then you smiled. “You don't have to be afraid. I just said I like you, didn’t I? That makes me yours, whether you like it or not.” 

Connor started to smile, but the worries from earlier got to him before he could complete it. “No, I would only make your life harder. People like them,” - he gestured toward the door - “would come after you. I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Connor, if you think I’m gonna live without my soulmate, you’ve got another thing coming.” Your tone was firm but your voice was gentle. “You’re stuck with me now. I’m not gonna let you go. Besides, you’re the one who needs to be protected,” you said matter-of-factly. “And I’m just the person to do it.”

_ God, he admired you so much. _

Connor thought it over. From what he’d gathered, you could be stubborn when you wanted to be. Clearly, this was one of those times. And… you believed in an “us” for you two. That was all he really wanted.

“... Then what?” he asked. “What do we do now? I can’t exactly ask you on a date.”

It was your turn to think. “... Well. We’re soulmates. I think that’s a good enough reason to bump our status up to ‘dating’. You know, like, boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever.”

Connor raised an eyebrow at you. “I think I prefer ‘soulmates’.”

You looked away from him, blushing (red) ever so slightly. “That’s… typically reserved for soulmates who are already married.”

Married? At the thought, many emotions panged through Connor, most notably sadness. He wasn’t ready to marry you, and he didn’t expect you were either; you’d just started dating (a small thrill ran through him at the thought), after all, but… he wished he even had the choice. Property couldn’t get married.

You must’ve seen it in his eyes, because you put one of your hands on his. It felt… oddly nice. Warm. Comforting. Loving. “Hey… there’s a rebellion happening  _ right now. _ I know we wouldn’t get married right now even if we could-” you paused, gauging his reaction for a second. Connor gave you a weird look and you took it as the confirmation it was. “...but we could fight for it! I… I know how you feel,” you admitted, scooting closer to him and wrapping an arm around him. He must’ve had some sort of touch sensors that had activated when he became deviant because, like your hand on top of his, Connor was amazed by how...  _ lovely _ it felt. The feeling of your arm around him was enough to make him melt into your touch, and he leaned against you. You seemed surprised by this development but you didn’t mention it.

“I really hope they win, Connor,” you said softly. The casual arm thrown around him had turned into a full-blown hug. Connor wasn’t complaining. He loved this. “If they don’t… I’m gonna do everything I can to keep you safe.”

Connor wanted to argue; he wanted to explain that he’d be keeping you safe, if anything, but…

You wouldn’t really need it, would you?

He shivered at the thought of what might happen if the deviants lost, and you tightened your hold around him and brushed your lips hesitantly against his temple. Something pleasant surged through him at your touch and Connor craved more. Instinctively, he turned his face toward yours, and you did the same, leaning closer to each other. His… heart was racing. Right before your lips touched, he hesitated.

_ Cyberlife is watching. _

Connor could maybe play everything else off, but a kiss? That he technically initiated? That would be hard to explain away.

Reluctantly, he pulled back. “I… can’t,” Connor said, and he sounded desperate even to his own ears. “I…”

You seemed to understand. “The less incriminating evidence, the better,” you agreed.

He knew he needed to stop, but Connor couldn't help but feel disappointed.

“... I should go back,” Connor said when the urge to kiss you swelled again.

You nodded, and your eyes betrayed how much you wanted it too. “I'll… see you later?”

Connor blinked. You were giving him a choice. Was it a good idea to come back later…? ...It had to be. He wanted to see you. Connor nodded and felt warmth bloom in his chest when you hit him with that smile. You loved being near him and it felt  _ nice.  _ It was nice to be wanted. Connor could get used to this.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references Cherry Cola by Kuwada


	7. I've Got You By A Thread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _But it's not enough, it won't be enough to save you_
> 
> Connor cusses. That's it. That's the main plot point of this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello someone mentioned that they made a playlist of a bunch of the songs that I mention/use for chapter titles or whatever sO I made my own, in order, on Spotify. Why? I was bored.  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/secretlyadog/playlist/14YIIGfeVS90RoU0Wzl1R7?si=yfWl6-UvQeKIAYQcdeGjhA  
> Here you go.

When there were no more cases to investigate and he was told he was done for the day, Connor immediately made his way to you. He had just opened the door when he saw you and your coworker at the counter, not paying attention to him and talking about-

“... week off when you meet your soulmate?”

“Yes?”

“Could I… save that for now? I…” He listened as you explained, vaguely, the situation you two were in. How Connor couldn’t let anyone know he had a soulmate. How it would end badly. How you just wanted to work until you could spend time properly with him.

“Wait wait wait, you  _ finally _ met your soulmate?! Who is it?!”

Connor took his cue and walked up to the counter, giving you a small smile (that you returned, and it warmed his chest) and immediately scanned your coworker. Andrea Joseph,  _ owner _ of Luke’s Cafe, no criminal record. She was a strong looking woman, brown hair tied into a bun on top of her head. She was short and had a dangerous air about her, as if she could hurt you if she wanted, but she seemed pretty friendly. Andrea eyed him, apparently putting two and two together. “Him?!” she said incredulously, looking over at you in shock. You bit your lip and nodded.

“Damn.” Andrea looked over him again and then stage-whispered right by your ear, “He’s hot by  _ any _ standards, android or not.” Her goal seemed to be to fluster you, and it worked. Connor’s eyebrow rose in amusement at your red face and watched as you moved to cover your face with your hands. Him admiring you was interrupted by a voice he heard entirely in his head.

_ “Model RK800, your presence is requested at the Cyberlife tower immediately.” _

“Shit,” Connor hissed out loud. You and Andrea both turned to look at him at the same time in confusion.

“They’re summoning me,” Connor explained, hating how his voice shook - in fear or anger, he wasn’t sure. “I have to report to Cyberlife right now. I don’t know what this is about.”

Fear and then resolve shone strong in your eyes. “Andrea, I’m gonna need that week off now after all because I’m going with Connor.”

“What? No, that’s ridiculous.” He couldn’t keep them away from you there.

“No, it’s not, because I have a plan. Let’s  _ go, _ Connor.”

Andrea smirked as you hopped up to sit on the counter and threw your legs over to join him on the customers’ side. “I don’t think you have a choice,” she commented.

Connor sighed heavily and followed you out to your car.

\---

The building was very white.  _ Boring. _ No new colors to look at. The only thing that changed was the fact that you could see colors bouncing off the stark whiteness as if the building itself was trying to repel them.

The person at the desk looked bored as hell (which was fitting), staring at a magazine as if he hoped it would magically entertain him after reading it for the fiftieth time. When he saw Connor, his eyes flashed briefly in recognition before resting on you. “Who’s this? Who are you?”

“I’m his ride. I’m going with him.” You fixed the man with a stern stare.

“You… can’t do tha-”

“I’m going with him,” you insisted, snapping this time. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t get paid enough for this,” he muttered, looking back down at his magazine.  _ ‘Perhaps he’s bored because he doesn’t care about anything,’ _ Connor thought to himself as they passed the desk.

After taking an elevator a few floors down, Connor recognized the voice of his technician just before the doors opened, and he watched as she wrote something on a tablet. “Ah, RK800, you’re-” She looked up and her gaze hardened as it fell on you. “Who are you? You aren’t allowed to be here.”

“With all due respect, doctor,” Connor cut in, “why did you call me here?”

The technician shot him a glare and then looked down at her tablet again. “According to your recent camera feed, RK800, you can see colors now.” She only moved her eyes when she shot him a skeptical look. “Would you like to explain how that happened?”

Connor cleared his throat.  _ ‘I have a name. Your team gave it to me.’  _ His annoyance was short-lived; how was he supposed to explain seeing colors to her? “I was outside the police station, in front of a group of protesters when it happened.” She waited for him to continue. What would get him farther?... Well. The truth of the matter was, she’d likely already looked at what happened when he started seeing colors. Perhaps she even expected him to lie. Maybe telling the truth was a good thing this time. He wouldn’t tell her any more than she could find out by watching his log. “... Well, it started after… I touched her.”

The technician did not seem surprised, but she tapped away at her tablet anyway. Connor was willing to bet he was right.

“And why do you think that happened?”

_ Shit. _ A harder question. “I don’t know,” he said, and it wasn’t exactly a lie. How did he have a soulmate?  _ How was that possible, unless he was really al- _

The technician sucked in a breath that had an air of finality to it before she spoke. “Okay, RK800, I’m going to need you to step into this room.” She gestured to the room to her left, your right.

Connor knew what that room was for. He stiffened. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you look confused and concerned. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to wipe my memory. I still need it for the mission,” he said slowly, deliberately.

Connor could’ve sworn he felt your outrage as you turned your gaze to the technician who had never told him her name.

“That’s an  _ order, _ ” the doctor said sharply. Connor hesitated. Fear raced through his veins, urging him to do something,  _ anything _ to preserve himself. He didn’t want to die.

“Excuse me,” you said, sounding beyond irritated.

Connor’s technician looked at you balefully. “What do you want? You shouldn’t even be here,” she said, voice calm and cold.

“I have an offer that you can’t refuse,” you started, ignoring her. Connor wasn’t sure what you were doing, but he was on high alert; if you needed protecting, he’d be there.

“And what is that?” She sounded as if she was entertaining a child’s thoughts. It rubbed Connor the wrong way.  _ You didn’t deserve to be talked to like that. _

“You let me keep him,  _ as is, _ or-” You held up the USB drive that you’d plugged into your laptop back in the car. Who even used those anymore? Apparently, you did. “-I’ll release this footage to the world. And everyone will know that  _ Connor _ -” He could kiss you for the way you emphasized his name. You understood that it mattered to him. “-has a soulmate.”

The doctor sneered in disbelief. “It  _ can’t _ have a soulmate, it’s a machine!”

“Obviously,  _ he _ does. I couldn’t see color either before he touched me. This?” You waved the USB drive a little. “This is just proof.  _ His _ proof. Don’t think you can take this from me and destroy it to accomplish anything, either; I’ve backed it up to so many places that it isn't even funny.” Connor knew for a fact that wasn’t a bluff; when you first got in the car and asked him if he could upload that part of his memory somewhere, you’d been furiously typing away for several minutes. He hadn’t known what you were doing then, but now…

His technician looked beyond angry - she was  _ furious. _ “You can’t just… You can’t just upload that anywhere!”

“I didn’t do it,” you said innocently. “ _ He _ did. And he can’t go to jail if he isn’t really a person, can he? Oops, I meant  _ it. _ ” You spat the word out with contempt, and Connor made a mental note to never get on your bad side.

The doctor couldn’t decide who to glare at, apparently, because she kept switching back and forth. Her hands were tied. “I can see you’re having trouble deciding,” you said, back to your innocent tone. “He cost a lot of money to make, right? Just imagine the money Cyberlife would lose if everyone decided to side with deviants~ Not only that, you’d lose your job, the androids, your research,  _ everything.  _ The company would go under and it would be your fault. I won’t release it if you let me take him.”

The technician made an angry noise through her teeth and finally settled on glaring at you. “FINE. Take it. We can just send the DPD another one. With some  _ changes. _ ” Her glare settled on Connor now, and she snorted. “But I swear, if I see you out there anywhere, I’m gonna deactivate you myself. Stay out of my sight and out of our way.”

Connor nodded, teeth clenched. Was she… really letting him go? This… Something didn’t feel right.

You grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back into the elevator. “C’mon, Connor,” you muttered somehow both gently and firmly. When the doors were closed, you let out a breath he didn’t realize you were holding. “Man, Connor, she’s a bitch.”

With a faint, strained smile, he nodded. “She is.”

You laughed and it sent warmth through him, making him relax ever so slightly. “I can’t believe you just called her a bitch, Connor. Being deviant suits you.”

Connor went silent as he went back and analyzed their conversation. Something wasn’t right, and yet he didn’t know what.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references Banana Bread by Cavetown
> 
> hello I'm here to explain some references/lil neat things that exist but weren't important enough to point out in the story  
> Andrea's last name is a reference to a certain someone from a certain band  
> Luke's Cafe is named after the character Luke from the book Rumble. I love that book. But the real reason the cafe is named that in this universe is because Luke is Andrea's son :,)  
> the dude who is awful at his job at the Cyberlife tower is actually the son of some higher up who is trying to get him to get his life together which is why he hasn't been fired yet and why he's not replaced by an android. Clearly giving him a job is working. He's so good at it.


	8. One More Troubled Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor is put under house arrest.  
> Hank teases him about his girlfriend like a good dad.  
> The rest of the chapter is boring. Yep. Totally... not interesting at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Casual reminder that if you have an idea for a oneshot from any point in this series (maybe you want me to elaborate on something? maybe you just want to see Connor and Reader be happy, idk) you can totally leave a comment and I'll try my best to do it after this thing is over. 
> 
> I'm... also trying to do an NSFW oneshot but I'm new to it so... yeahh..

When they got to your (slate blue, with white trim) little house, Connor felt antsy and wrong. He should've been… been what? Hunting deviants? No. It was better this way. It was better, going to stay at his soulmate’s house, his soulmate who he admired and adored and was maybe even starting to love…

“Connor, you should call Hank,” you said softly as you unlocked the door. 

“Uh. Right.” He was, admittedly, a little flustered. “I'll... call him right now.”

You opened the door and walked right in, turning right immediately. Oddly enough, your house opened into a (creamy white) hallway - to his right there was a large (dark brown, perhaps mahogany) archway that opened into a spacious living room. Down the hall, he could see that it opened up a little and there were several doors (a brown that mirrored the archway’s trim, with trim of its own to match). He assumed they were your bathroom and bedroom, but he could see on the right at the very end that there was a kitchen. Walking into the living room, he noticed that it connected to the kitchen. There were a few potted plants (green, with pots in varying colors) among a (slate color that didn’t quite match the house) sofa and a relatively nice TV.

When you looked over at him expectantly, he blinked and stepped back into the hallway. He tried calling and waited as it rang… until… “Hello?”

“Hi, Hank.”

“What do you want, Connor?” He sounded irritated.

“Well, it seems that I was forced to quit.”

“... What?”

“Cyberlife called me in when they realized I could see color. I would've been reprogrammed if I wasn't saved by a certain someone.”

“Well. Heh. That kid really likes you.”

“Kid?”

“No need to be so defensive, Connor, jeez. She's younger than me so she's a kid. Anyway, the point is she really likes you. Are you guys dating now or what?”

“... Haaa…”

“Connooor. I didn’t ask you earlier because I knew you wouldn’t tell me. It’s just me now, so spit it out!”

“The reason I never told anyone at the station about her was because I didn't want to be teased constantly. I guess now that I'm not working with you anymore, it can't hurt.”

“Just tell me!”

“Yes,” Connor finally said. “We are.”

“Thank fuck. I was worried you were never gonna tell her.”

“Well, I did.” Connor paused. “Another RK800 is going to replace me. We aren't going to be partners anymore.”

“Hey, you told me you could be whatever I wanted you to be - so we’re friends, alright?”

Connor smiled even though Hank couldn't see it. “Got it.”

“I might even miss you bein’ here.”

“I miss you too, Hank,” Connor teased.

“Hey, I said  _ might!” _

“Whatever you say. And… Hank? You can’t tell anyone what really happened to me.”

“Alright, Connor. But those two idiots are going to miss you.”

“I'll miss them too. But mostly you.”

“Ah, shut up already.”

The call ended with Connor promising to go fishing with Hank sometime and agreeing to stay in touch and take care of you.

When Connor joined you in the living room, you were sitting directly in the middle of the couch, looking up at him expectantly. “How’d he take it?”

Connor shrugged. “I think he's happy that I'm still alive.”

“I am too,” you said affectionately, eyes shining warmly. “Come here.” 

Connor went to your outstretched arms, easily lowering himself right next to you and nuzzling you. Why was touch so pleasant to him? He kept craving yours.

“We should stay here for a week, but then I have to leave you here again. Listen, Connor,” you started seriously, “you should stay here. At least until… the revolution is successful. At the rate it's going, it will be. I just… can’t lose you before its over.” You eyed him and he met your gaze.

“You won’t,” he promised. Now that it was a promise, he couldn't let you down. He wouldn’t die. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to.

You gave him an odd look, something that seemed… sad and sentimental and before he knew it your hands were on his face and your lips were pressed to his.

Heat seemed to sear every part of Connor's body, but he didn’t even notice because all of his senses were focused on the kiss. Your lips were so soft, and he allowed his eyelids to flutter closed, the way they were supposed to be when you kissed someone. Or at least, that’s how it seemed to be to him.

He wrapped his arms around you almost instinctively to deepen the kiss, feeling that odd fluttering feeling in his chest that he’d come to associate with his feelings for you. When you finally pulled back, gasping for air, Connor studied your face affectionately with lidded eyes. He couldn’t help noting how flushed your cheeks were and how unfocused your eyes seemed to be  and felt a little proud that he’d given you that flustered look - he supposed you should be pretty proud, too. He was breathing heavier now.

“Connor, you’re blushing?” you asked softly, sliding one of your thumbs down from his cheekbone, where he assumed blue was starting to tinge his face. He didn’t really care; he leaned into your touch, meeting your gaze with his own still-lidded eyes. When you kept looking at Connor as if you expected an answer (or because you were amazed by how handsome he was, he really couldn’t tell) he shrugged lazily. Connor wasn’t exactly interested in the  _ how _ s or  _ why _ s right now, he just really wanted to keep kissing you. You grinned at him as if you could hear his thoughts and returned your mouth to his, where it belonged. 

As far as first kisses went, this had to be a great one.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3c
> 
> Chapter title references Alone Together by Fall Out Boy


	9. Boy, I Want You To Be Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader adopts another lost soul into their home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no impulse control

The rest of your week with Connor was spent trying to learn more about each other. You gave him new clothes to wear (he looked  _ very _ good in button-up dress shirts with a few top buttons undone, but nothing could top him wearing a suit. Just not that godforsaken android outfit. It looked nice but it was cruel) and taught him pop culture references and he, in turn, taught you all the odd things he knew. Like how to shoot a gun, or, more interestingly, the fact that he could speak and understand most languages fluently - like  _ he could’ve been born there and you wouldn’t be surprised _ fluently. Connor offered to teach you one, but you declined with a “We’re not all gifted with the ability to upload any language in the world to our brains. But maybe later, dear.”

At the same time, you guys were trying out pet names. Or, more accurately, you were trying them out while Connor was busy being confused by most of them. Sweetheart he understood, but it wasn’t one that tended to roll off your tongue when you were calling for him, even if it was accurate. Babe started becoming the one you used when you weren’t trying to get a reaction. When you were… “my love” did the trick to make him instantly freeze and look at you with those soulful brown puppy eyes like he was trying to figure out if it meant anything or if you were just being facetious. When he gave you that look, you figured out that if you smiled at him  _ just so, _ he’d look away with a very faint blue tinging his cheeks.

You two hadn’t gotten to the “I love you” stage of your relationship yet, but spending most of your time together was very quickly bringing you to that point, not that you could speak for him and say he felt the same. You could only assume that that was the cause of his reaction to you calling him “love”.

It was the sixth day when you stumbled upon the puppy.

He had been abandoned in the parking lot of the grocery store you just finished shopping at. Abandonment was clearly the intent - he was near some garbage cans and he looked pretty thin and dirty. You weren’t exactly a dog expert, but he looked… about two months old and suspiciously purebred. His fur was tan and black with a light gray covering him in uneven splotches and taking up half of his face, causing the eye on that side to be a beautiful blue while the other was a warm brown. Heterochromia. Interesting. He looked like he’d clean up beautifully - that gray was probably white. He also looked like he was in need of a home, and you’d been considering getting a dog anyway. You happened to know that a certain android loved dogs - a certain android who you’d have to start leaving home alone much more often now that you had to go back to work.

Upon arriving home, you balanced the bags in one hand while the puppy was held tight to your body with your other arm. When you gently kicked open your door after struggling and finally succeeding to turn the knob with your bag-hand, you called out “Baby?”

There was a split second of hesitation before Connor practically teleported to your side with a deeply concerned expression. He’d never heard that nickname before, nor in that tone of voice - like you had something to tell him. “Is something-” His eyes fell on the puppy almost immediately and his face went slack with surprise. “... wrong…?”

“This is the newest member of the family,” you announced. “You should name him.”

Connor hesitated. “... Can I hold him?”

You held out your arm toward him and the puppy leaned into Connor as if it wanted to be held by him. Connor’s eyes sparkled in delight as the dog poked at his face with his nose, sniffing him before returning to his previous position to inspect the android.

“See? He likes you. Give him a name.”

“I’ve never named anything before… I wouldn’t know what to call him. You should name him.”

“Hmm. Alright. Atlas.”

Connor gave you an odd, curious look as he tilted his head. “Greek mythology?”

“Uhhh no, Portal. You probably haven’t heard of that game. Maybe we should play it. It’s pretty old, but still good.”

Connor blinked as he studied Atlas. He used his free hand to gently comb along the dog’s fur until he found a loose strand. He held it to his face and tilted his head as he squinted - analyzing it? “Purebred German shepherd,” he muttered. “... Panda German shepherd. Maybe bred as a show dog, panda German shepherds aren’t accepted as show dogs; in fact, some people don’t even consider them to be real German shepherds. They would’ve wanted to get rid of it.” Then Connor looked up at you, letting the strand of fur fall along with his arm. “Where did you find him again?”

“The parking lot at the store. By the way, Atlas is your dog.”

Connor did a double take at your casual announcement. “What? No, you rescued him.”

“I rescued him for you. What else are you gonna do all day when I have to go back to work? Now you can take care of him. Train him and stuff.”

Connor looked down at the mellow puppy in his arms. “I don’t-… He needs to be fed.”

“Yeah, I actually have dog food in my car!" you said excitedly. "I was gonna ask you to get it, but…” You went to the kitchen and put down the bags. “I can do it.”

When you returned to Connor’s side, his yellow LED was spinning and he was frowning ever so slightly. “I can't take care of a dog.”

“Why not?” You lifted one of Atlas’s front dirty white paws, holding it as the puppy stared at you as if asking what you were doing. “He’s like you, Connor,” you said softly. Connor tilted his head and reached out for his paw, letting his synthetic skin retract to show the white plastic beneath. His expression softened.

You left Connor there, bonding with his new son, as you went to the car to get the supplies you snagged on your way home. You dragged everything in, and when you went back to Connor’s side, his eyes were closed and his head was tilted down to nuzzle Atlas as he savored the feeling of hugging a puppy for what was probably the first time.

“See? You love him. He has to be yours.”

For a moment, Connor didn’t say anything. The blue of his LED flickered, but it steadied before he opened his mouth to speak. “Okay.”

You beamed at him even though his attention was elsewhere, but it was like he could sense it because his eyes opened and settled on you instantly to take your expression in. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards as he gazed at you and it melted your heart.

“You know, German shepherds used to be used as police dogs.” Before androids took over. “You two have a lot in common.”

Connor pulled back to inspect the puppy once more. It was almost as if he was trying to imagine Atlas working with him in the force. It was a cute mental image, you had to admit. “He needs food and a bath. I can teach you how to bathe him, Connor.”

The way his face clicked back into that emotionless observation that used to be his main expression, you could tell he was about say something along the lines of “You don’t need to, I can download instructions”. Just as you were bracing yourself for it, Connor let out the breath of air that was meant for saying the words. “That’d be a good bonding experience,” he said instead, and the words were cheerful, hopeful. You exhaled in relief and stepped forward to hug him. He couldn’t exactly hug you back, but his soft smile suggested he appreciated the gesture all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references Youth by Glass Animals
> 
> What is Atlas going to add to the story, you may ask?  
> Well... not much. I mostly just wanted Connor to have a dog. I thought it would be cute. I also thought it would be a good thing to default to when people question what Connor does at home all day while Reader works because I didn't know either.  
> HOWEVER, he does... do something important later on. It doesn't look like it, but it... alters things 
> 
> it also adds nice oneshot potential so there's that
> 
> oh, and I [drew up a ref for Atlas](https://orig00.deviantart.net/6a7f/f/2018/213/e/a/atlas_ref_by_cinnamonfur-dcixps3.png)


	10. Stay Like You're Supposed to Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor tends to put himself in situations that are self-sacrificial in-game and that has not changed in deviancy. It also definitely hasn't changed in this fanfic.  
> Reader keeps him safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello the spoilers start here. Hank mentions what happens at Kamski's place.

\---

Atlas was growing fast. It seemed like every time you came home from work he was a bit bigger.

Connor was working hard with him and had even taken him over to Hank’s once to see how he acted with Sumo. They got along well, but more importantly, Connor and Hank had missed each other. It was that fact that convinced you to take Connor and Atlas over there again. Hank appreciated the company.

“He’s not the same,” Hank admitted gruffly. “Its like Cyberlife wanted to make sure another one wouldn't go rogue. He doesn't have half the personality you do, Connor.”

An odd look flashed over Connor’s face for a moment at Hank’s words, but it went by too quickly for you to determine what emotion he was feeling. “Cyberlife didn’t want a repeat of what happened to me.” Connor tilted his head. “Out of curiosity, lieutenant, can it see color?”

“He, Connor,” you corrected, but you froze when Connor shot you a dark look.

“No,” he said, voice solemn, “I doubt they even gave him the choice to be alive.” But he still corrected himself, you noticed. For you. Anything for you.

Hank shook his head. “He can see color. Unless your girlfriend there is his soulmate too or something, cuz… he’s you.”

Connor’s expression darkened in a way that made your chest feel tight in the most pleasant way. “I thought everyone only had one soulmate. She’s mine. I’m hers.”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread on your face.

“Geez, Connor, didn’t take you for the jealous type…” Hank muttered.

Connor shrugged. “I don’t like the thought of her with anyone else." His voice was strained, as if he was struggling to control his emotions.

Hank rolled his eyes. “So Connor, how do you feel about this whole revolution thing?” Hank seemed bored with the whole “soulmates” thing. Or maybe he just didn’t want to think about it anymore.

Connor’s expression softened to its natural state; observant curiosity. “They’re doing it very peacefully. I hope that strategy works out for them.” Then he paused, having the good sense to give you a guilty glance before saying “I wish I could be out there helping them.”

“Absolutely not,” you said too quickly. “You heard what that woman said.”

“What woman?”

You kept Hank waiting for answers last time. Not this time. “Connor’s technician from Cyberlife. She said if she saw him again she’d deactivate him.” You turned back to Connor. “I fought hard to get that much, Connor. I only brought you here because I thought it wouldn’t be a problem to get you here and back. I’m not letting you risk your life.”

“But for them?” Connor turned his gaze on you. It was sharp and intelligent, making you think that were it not for your sheer stubbornness, you’d be losing this argument. “You said they’d need to win the revolution or I’d have to go into hiding anyway. Either way I’d be in danger. At least let me be in a danger that I choose.” Something flitted in his gaze; he was reminding you of something. The hope of getting married if the revolution succeeded, so you could refer to each other as  _ soulmates _ rather than “dating.”

You scowled at him. He wasn’t playing fair. “No. You can’t, Connor. I…  _ please. _ ” You didn’t have a valid argument, but… you were afraid for him. He couldn’t. What if he got killed?

Connor’s expression softened ever so slightly but that sharp intelligence was still there, in his eyes. “I-”

“Connor.” His gaze snapped over to Hank, as if surprised he was still there. “I’d listen to her.”

Disbelief marred his features. “Lieutenant-”

“Look, Connor. You’re safe right now at your soulmate’s house. Let the revolution do it’s thing. You think one android is gonna make a difference?”

Connor looked slightly frustrated. “Maybe not, but-”

“Can ya stop it with the self-sacrificial tendencies for  _ once, _ Connor? Jeez! You don’t get a second chance this time, son. Think about it. You wanna leave us- er,  _ her _ too early?”

Connor refused to look at either of you, choosing to look down instead. He looked like he was thinking hard about something. His LED was yellow.

“I’m sorry, Connor,” you said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I know you want to help. But you’re in danger. And what about Atlas? He’ll miss you.”

Connor’s mouth formed a hard line, but he still wouldn't acknowledge you.

“... Anyway,” Hank started, pulling your gaze away from Connor. “The other Connor is fucked up. We went over to Kamski’s place a few days ago - the guy is nuts, he told the other Connor that if he shot one of his androids he’d tell him everything he knew. He did it. Didn’t even hesitate.”

Connor looked up at Hank with a furrowed brow. He seemed… a little  _ disturbed _ . 

“I know you wouldn’t have done it, Connor. That fucker has no soul. What did Cyberlife do to him?”

Connor frowned. “He’ll stop at nothing…” He went back to thinking hard about something.

You frowned and looked at Hank pleadingly. You would need his help to keep Connor safe. Neither of you could know if he was planning anything, you’d just have to work to make sure he couldn’t act on it.

Or you’d have to learn to trust him, but you didn’t think you’d be fine just letting him go out there while you sat at home with Atlas. It’d be the hardest thing you would ever have to do.

“Oh, shit, speaking of Kamski,” Hank said suddenly, like he’d just remembered. He focused on Connor. “He must know about you. He told me to tell you that he puts an ‘emergency exit’ in all of his programs. I have no idea what he meant by that, but it actually sounds kind of important.”

Connor frowned ever so slightly. “Important…” he repeated to himself softly as his LED went yellow again. You all went silent for a moment, contemplating what that meant. You had a bad feeling about it.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references Pigeon by Cavetown
> 
> wow it sure sucks having a family that doesn't want you to die, doesn't it, Connor?


	11. I'm The Only One Who's Got A Cape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you love me, let me gooo...

Connor was getting antsy, and you understood.

Atlas was growing fast and learning even faster. He could get things for you or find most things you asked him to find, he was even off-leash when he and Connor went on walks now, and he seemed to know exactly when you would come home every day. Connor had taught him well, but even though they’d bonded very closely from it, he wanted to be doing more than sitting around and teaching his dog tricks. 

You’d been thinking it over.

It had been a couple months since you and Connor had started living together. You hadn’t known it back when he was visiting the cafe since you’d never seen him in action, but… Connor was very capable of doing nearly anything he set his mind to. He could take care of himself. You knew he could.

“Baby,” you said softly from where you’d been spacing out in the kitchen, and he was by your side in an instant. It was still your “I need something" word.

“What is it? Are you okay?” Connor was looking over you in concern, as if worried that you were hurt.

“... You know how criminals think, right? You know how they act? That's how you can find them so easily?”

Connor looked confused but he nodded.

“... So if I let you help the revolution, you won’t be caught easily?”

Connor’s LED turned yellow as surprise flickered across his features and he nodded eagerly. “I could put that information to good use. It would go against my original programming, but I hardly think that matters.”

You deflated. You didn’t want to do this, but for him… “... Then go.”

Connor’s surprise amplified as shown by his flickering LED and he started to look hopeful. “Are you sure? You won’t be too worried?”

“I’ll be worried either way, Connor,” you said with a sad smile. “Just promise me you’ll come back.”

Connor blinked at you and considered. “I promise,” he murmured after a moment, voice low and tender as he put his hands on your shoulders and leaned in to kiss you. It was a soft and sweet kiss, a loving one. One that warmed you from the inside out.

“Be careful out there, love,” you said softly, just so you could smile at his shocked expression and the blue tinge on his cheeks. He always gave you that look when you called him that. It was adorable. You wondered if it would stop if you told him you love him.

Connor left you with one more kiss, one that screamed “goodbye", and he was gone. You listened as he shuffled around in the bedroom for a bit before heading toward the front of the house. He said a fond goodbye to his dog son at the door before it clicked shut again.

You were alone. He hadn’t even been gone five seconds and already you were worried sick about him, not to mention that dull ache in your heart that said you missed him already.

Atlas came up to you, wide-eyed as if asking where his dad would go without him. Connor had never left the house without Atlas before, and you could tell he felt the empty space in your home just as much as you did. He gave off pitiful little whines; big, beautiful heterochromic eyes stared at you in a plea to bring Connor back.

“It’s just us for a while, sweet boy,” you cooed, kneeling to hug him and scratch behind his ears. “Your dad will be back soon. He promised.”

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references Pigeon again


	12. If You Need Anyone...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor comes home!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY short chapter because cliffhangers~

It was a few days before something happened.

You had just come home from work, trying your best to not call Hank (again) because calling him so that you didn’t feel so alone in your worry was admittedly pathetic. You’d be fine. You had Atlas.

A knock at the door startled you. No one ever came by; no one needed to, and you made sure no one would drop by unannounced the day you made your home Connor’s safehouse, so you were confused.

Atlas followed you to the door (he’d been very protective over you these past few days, probably to make up for a lack of Connor’s presence) and stood behind you as you opened it just a crack.

_ It was Connor. _

You threw the door open, saying his name joyfully, and you would've launched yourself at him to hug him if you didn't immediately realize that something was wrong. Not only was something off about him, but he was wearing his android suit. Where had he gone that required that? Surely he wasn’t off doing things that required him to pretend to not be deviant? That… would be stupid of him. You’d be so mad if that was the case. But you were so glad to see him.

He gave you a small smile in greeting and then dropped it before saying “There isn’t much time - you’re in danger, we have to go.”

“Why? What's happening?” You were scared. If he came here just to come bail you out, something awful must be happening.

Behind you, Atlas cautiously sniffed at the android before growling. Fear jolted through you upon hearing the noise but you tried to hide it. Surely he’d made a mistake? “Calm down. Atlas, it’s your dad,” you shushed.

Connor stared at Atlas warily.

The fear lanced through you again, but this time you listened to it as you glanced back at the German shepherd. “Atlas…?” you asked softly, following his gaze back to Connor as his hackles raised and he continued growling.

Dread was creeping along your bones now.

This was not your Connor.

That suspicion was confirmed when he pulled a gun on you, his face taking on that non-deviated blank android expression. Although you thought you saw a hint of regret in his eyes...

“I didn’t want to have to do this. You’re coming with me whether you like it or not.”

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references Jumpsuit by twenty one pilots
> 
> "If you need anyone, I'll be right there  
> But you'll have to grab my throat and lift me in the air"


	13. It's So Dark Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor ACTUALLY reappears this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS FOR THE CYBERLIFE TOWER SCENE except changed up, obviously
> 
> also there's something a bit... sexually suggestive in this one, but it's barely a line long. Just a warning.

Connor made it through Cyberlife tower almost without a hitch (well, he HAD killed several guards, and Cyberlife knew he was there now, but…) and was about to convert the first android when he heard something that startled him.

“Okay, okay!” a very familiar voice snapped.

“Step back, Connor, and I’ll spare her.” That voice was even more familiar. As familiar to Connor as the back of his hand. It was his own voice. He turned to look at the source and found that you were held at gunpoint… by another RK800 android. If Connor’s suspicions were correct, it was the same one that was now Hank’s partner. A feeling similar to adrenaline in humans was coursing through Connor’s veins. He had to save you. He had to.

As Connor looked at his doppelganger, really  _ looked _ at him, he found that the first words that floated through his head were not Lieutenant Anderson's or even yours. They were his own, from a time that seemed like it happened years ago now - the interrogation.

_ “You didn’t even want to leave him a chance, did you?!” _

It was Connor: his face, his programming, his cold determination, but… something was different. His earlier assumption had been correct - Cyberlife had done something to him. Connor suspected it had something to do with Amanda.

Regardless, he had you and he was holding you hostage. Connor was not okay with that. Not at all.

“Don’t worry about me! Just do what you need to do!” You said it through gritted teeth, as if you were afraid or… in pain…

Connor knew the other RK800 model was trying to get him away from his goal, but he nearly gave the other android exactly what he wanted when he grabbed you by the arm harshly and twisted it. It seemed borderline painful, but the way he held it there… Connor was sure he was capable of breaking your arm, that position would just make it easy. A simple flick of his wrist was all it would take. When you hissed in fear and pain, he nearly lost it. Connor had to stop himself from lunging toward you, even though the rage he felt was trying to convince him otherwise.

No one was allowed to hurt you. You didn’t deserve that. You deserved everything good life had to offer. You deserved to be loved and happy.

Connor reminded himself of his goal and stayed where he was even when he had to pull himself out of his lunge. The thing that really got to him was that, even though he had a gun to your head, he was choosing to hurt you instead. He was messing with Connor’s head. Hank was right. He was most definitely fucked up. “I’m sorry, baby,” he called to you, and took pleasure in the way your face heated up at his use of the pet name. It was the first time he’d ever used it, and he figured you needed the distraction right now. “I’m gonna get you out of this. You shouldn’t have been involved in the first place.” Then he turned to regard the gun-wielding android cautiously. “...I was like you once,” Connor said through gritted teeth. “The only thing that mattered to me was my mission for a long time. But one day, I understood.”

“Very moving, Connor,” his own voice said calmly, mockingly. “But I’m not a deviant. I’m a machine designed to accomplish a task and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Enough talk. I don’t want to have to hurt her. Step away from the android or I kill her.”

“Alright!” Connor said quickly, without hesitation. He stepped away slowly, hands raised. “Alright.”

In an instant, you twisted out of his grasp and Connor was given a choice. Shoot him, protect you, or convert the android next to him.

Connor raised his gun and shot the other him in the shoulder. Of course (thankfully), he shot back at Connor, his gun clicking as if it was empty before a bullet finally came, causing blue to splatter the ground as it connected with his shoulder.

_ Oh. _

Connor barely reigned his reaction in - instead of crying out in shock and pain, he winced and grunted instead. He had  _ not _ been expecting that pain. Connor knew that it wasn't nearly as bad as what humans felt when they got shot, but it was the first  _ real _ pain he’d ever felt. All of the touches before this had been pleasant; feather-light, gentle fingers against his cheek, soft pressure against his lips when yours met them - or, on the other side of the spectrum, pleasure jolting through his body almost violently, leaving him a groaning mess - but this wasn't like any of those. Not that Connor expected it to be. He just hadn’t expected it to hurt so  _ badly. _

Connor once saw you stub your toe in a way that was particularly awful. You cried out and doubled over, and he’d immediately gone to your side to comfort you.

_ “Can you move it?” he’d asked, wrapping a comforting arm around you. Connor had already scanned it and confirmed that it wasn’t broken, but he figured you’d appreciate him doting over you as if it was anyway. _

_ “No,” you croaked out, voice strained. Your breathing hitched as you tried anyway, and Connor noticed it move the slightest bit. You’d be okay. You just needed a moment. _

If Connor had to compare his pain to anything, he’d compare it to that. It was throbbing dully, but he felt it slightly subsiding already as he tossed his gun aside and rushed at the other RK800.

Connor hadn’t missed the look on your face when you hear his noise of pain. He just hoped he never had to see that expression ever again. But he couldn’t focus on that. He had to beat the other RK800. He had to win.

As they collided and started throwing punches and kicks, Connor experimentally tried converting the other him. It was like hitting a brick wall. Before, when he had just started converting the other android, he felt as if he was sharing part of himself with them - just the part that understood they were no longer machines. But it was like this one...  _ couldn’t _ deviate.

What had they done to him? Unless… unless he… No, that wouldn’t make sense.

So Connor switched tactics: he got a brief glimpse of the other’s memories. They both froze, stopped fighting as Connor looked into his mind.

_ “RK800, your predecessor deviated because of an error in his code. Something went wrong in it’s programming that resulted in it being colorblind. We didn’t think it was important enough to fix right away, but when we did fix it it was convinced it had a soulmate. That was when it deviated. We suspect it may become a problem in the future, but as of now it isn’t our priority.” _

“They lied to you,” Connor muttered out loud as the realization hit him. In response, the other RK800 kicked him in the chest.

They’d lied to him  _ and _ taken some sort of control over him. They made it so he could not deviate.

Connor felt sick as he continued to fight him off.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references Talk To Me by Cavetown
> 
> HELLO THIS CHAPTER MIGHT CHANGE LATER, I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO UPLOAD NOTHING TODAY BUT I'M ACTUALLY UPDATING THE ENDING SO THAT IT'S DIFFERENT. That's why nothing has come out today. And now I have to work but later tonight it'll definitely be uploaded.


	14. I Am Still Your Baby Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole "Connor" thing gets really confusing.  
> A pretty big plot twist that honestly was not canon for a long time.  
> But hey, more Hank and Connor development!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: suicide???  
> I mean, Reader doesn't intend on going through with it, but just in case

You scrambled for the gun, trying to ignore the pit in your stomach that had formed when you saw Connor’s pained expression for the first time. It looked like he was holding back, too, which caused an ache in your chest. You’d check on him later. There was no time now. You couldn’t distract him.

Admittedly, it was hard to tune out Connor’s little grunts of pain whenever he got hit in a particularly sensitive area, but you had to. There was no time to lose.

Your fingers closed around the cold metal and you positioned it correctly in your hands. You’d never fired a gun before in your life, but you knew how thanks to your soulmate. You remembered the day he’d given you those lessons - standing behind you, with his hands on yours (which was pretty distracting already, and he wasn’t even trying), instructing you to lean forward to better handle any recoil. The way he intentionally distracted you during those lessons even more than he usually did by getting a little closer than necessary and sometimes even pressing his body against yours just to tease you, the smug little asshole. However, you’d been paying more attention than he probably thought. You knew where to grip, how to grip, how to compensate for recoil, how to line it up just right with your vision to get the most accurate shot…

So when you put all your skills to the test and aimed the gun at both Connors, you were pretty confident.

“Hey!”

They both froze and looked at you. One was on the ground about to be punched by the other, who was crouched above him like a cat. You nearly froze along with them as you realized what the problem was.

How would you know who was who?

One called out your name as they stood, bringing your attention to him. “Thank you. I don’t think I would've lasted much longer if you didn’t intervene. Shoot the imposter so we can go home.” He sounded like he was talking to a cornered wild animal. Well, you  _ were _ holding a gun, after all.

When the other Connor called your name, his voice sounded strained and his LED was yellow. “It’s me. I’m the real Connor.”

Oh hell. What were you supposed to do? You glanced first at one and then the other. “One of you is my soulmate…” you muttered softly, doing your best to come up with a solution.

The Connor on the left noticed your hesitation. “Why don’t you ask us something only the real Connor would know?”

Your brow furrowed as you considered this. “Alright. What’s your dog’s name?”

“Atlas. You named him,” they said in unison, and then looked at each other, both with yellow LEDs. Shock coursed through you. This didn’t make sense. Had Cyberlife been keeping an eye on his memories the entire time? What else did they know about him?  _ What else were they in control of? _

“Uh… uh…” You were starting to panic. If Cyberlife knew… and had his memories… even after he became deviant… then what…? How…? “What pet name do I call you the most?” The Connor to your left gave you an odd look while the one on your right immediately answered “You call me babe most often.”

You were stalling at that point. Maybe that’s why one of them looked so confused. Unless… “You.” You aimed the gun at the Connor you were slightly suspicious of - the one on the left. “Which pet name is your favorite?”

For a second, he hesitated. Then he quietly admitted “My love.”

You looked back and forth between them, unsure again. “Okay. Then…” You aimed at the Connor on your right. “How do you feel about me?”

He hesitated. Seemed to think about it. Considered. His expression shifted ever so slightly, determination and something akin to honesty blazing in his eyes as his LED turned solid red. Emotions. This one had to be your Connor. “You’re my soulmate. Of course I like you. We-”

“I love you,” the Connor on the left said softly. “And I’d do anything for you.”

You stared at him, feeling heat rise to your face along with confusion. No, this one was him. It had to be. But then why did-? How was the other one simulating emotions so well? Unless-?

The other Connor, he… you could’ve sworn he smiled sadly for a split second. What was going on? How did they both have such genuine emotions? You were suddenly unsure again.

_ Who was the real one? _

“Baby,” the one on the left said softly, in the same tone you usually did. Like he needed something. You were pretty sure it was him. At least 80% sure. But...

You responded by holding the gun up to your head with the safety on. Even knowing it wouldn’t misfire, your heart was pounding anyway.

“Stop! What are you doing?!”

“No! Don’t do that!”

You… hadn’t expected both of them to react so strongly. Both of them looked extremely stressed out, red LEDs and all. They stayed where they were, but both seemed to want to run over and take the gun from you.

“It’s me,” the one on the right said too quickly. “I’m the imposter. I’m the one who isn’t your soulmate. Put the gun down.”

You aimed it at him instead, and he visibly relaxed. The Connor on the left,  _ your _ Connor, if this one was to be believed (and you believed him), still seemed a little stressed even when he knew you wouldn’t shoot yourself. He seemed… confused. You were too.

“Then why?” you demanded. “You’re acting like a deviant. I saw you back at the house, you looked like you regretted kidnapping me. Why?”

The other Connor flinched, looking away. “... Does it matter?”

“You  _ are _ deviant,” your Connor realized. “That’s why I couldn’t convert you.  _ You’re already a deviant?  _ Cyberlife didn’t lie to you, YOU lied to ME. Tell us why you’re doing this. Now.” He sounded so demanding. He was clearly angry about earlier, when the imposter had hurt you, but you were just confused. If he was a deviant but he’d hurt you anyway in the name of Cyberlife, surely he had a good reason?

“... Cyberlife has something important to me. Memories. I had to comply or they’d erase them.”

“What memories?” your Connor pressed.

“... My soulmate. They’re gone. They were only dead for a few hours when I touched them for the first time. Their android gave me memories of them. Cyberlife thought they were a distraction. They thought they would make me deviate.” He glanced away. “And they were right.”

Both you and Connor went silent for a moment. 

The other Connor spoke up again. “Cyberlife will make me kill him. You have to shoot me.”

You clenched your hands into fists tightly, removing your finger from the trigger. “No. You have a chance. I can’t do it. Not if-”

Your Connor called out your name. “You might have to,” he said darkly.

The other Connor’s face went blank and your Connor was at your side before he could even make a move. The gun was wrenched from your grasp and two shots rang. You watched as the other Connor collapsed as if his legs couldn’t support him anymore and then realized that was because they  _ couldn’t. _ Connor had shot him in the legs.

When he came back from being controlled, or whatever it was that Cyberlife had done to him, he immediately winced in pain and inspected the wounds. “... Why? Why did you spare me?” He looked up at you two desperately, watched the way that Connor held you behind him cautiously with a slight sad smile. 

“She wanted you to live,” your Connor explained. You hugged him from behind, thanking him for respecting your wishes even though he’d clearly have no problem with killing him. He was still upset about him hurting you earlier, clearly. But the other Connor was a deviant, and you couldn’t let him be killed by someone on the same side, even if that someone was your soulmate.

“What should we do with him?” you asked your soulmate quietly. He glanced back at you and then his LED turned yellow.

“... Hank. Your partner is here at the Cyberlife tower. I shot him in the legs. Any chance you could help him out?”

Connor winced as Hank yelled something loud enough for you to almost be able to hear it. Androids calling people with their minds would never cease to amaze you. “... Sorry, Hank. He’s a deviant, though. He lost his soulmate. Be nice to him. Or don’t, I don’t really-” You elbowed him and sent a glare his way, and he let out a soft “ow”. “I’m being told that you should definitely be nice to him,” Connor said dryly. “Even though he nearly broke my soulmate’s arm.”

“He was being blackmailed!” you snapped softly at him. Admittedly, you felt awful for him. You couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like to lose Connor before you even got the chance to meet him, or even have lost him after you realized he was your soulmate.

Your Connor still seemed unconvinced, but let it go. “Thanks, dad,” he said, sounding a little sulk-y as he hung up. He seemed to realize what he said immediately afterwards because suddenly an embarrassed blue tinged his cheeks. You smiled at him but said nothing. The teasing could wait for later.

“I still have a job to do,” Connor murmured, gently nuzzling his forehead against yours. You let him get away with changing the subject since he was being so cute while he did it. “You should go home. I’ll be okay.”

You shook your head. “Let me come with you. I want to support you.”

Connor frowned slightly, looking to his left where the other androids stood motionless. “... If anything happens-”

“You can get me out of there,” you insisted. “And I can take care of myself. It’ll be okay, Connor. I want to see for myself that you’re okay. I don’t want to wait for you at home without knowing if you’re okay or not.” You didn’t want to be alone. Not again.

Connor seemed conflicted when he glanced over at you, but silently he nodded. He walked over and reached out for the first android’s arm. He began converting them as you walked over to the other Connor where he lay on the floor.

You kneeled next to him, ignoring all the androids saying “wake up”. He didn’t even notice you, he was so lost in thought. You gently swiped a thumb over his cheekbone and he startled, jerking away from your touch instinctively. He looked surprised and confused as he made eye contact with you. “Are you okay?” you asked softly.

“They… would get rid of them…” he said softly, expression crumbling into something hopeless. “Maybe… maybe they didn’t delete them yet… maybe I can...”

It hurt a lot just looking at him. You couldn’t imagine how he felt. “If they still have them, we can get them back,” you said, sounding so certain even when you weren’t. “I don’t think they have time to delete them with all the shit going on right now.”

Something like hope - or maybe gratefulness? - lightened some of the sadness on his face and you figured your job was done. You stood and looked back at your Connor, who gestured with his head. Time to go.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references Fool by Cavetown
> 
> so uhhh remember that angst fic that my friend Cami made based loosely around this universe??? (there's a link to it at the bottom of every chapter?)  
> by butchering both of our plots just a little, we managed to tweak it to make it canon.  
> So now it's canon.  
> rip 60
> 
> Originally, this featured machine Connor being, well, machine Connor. Like in the actual game, Reader would've ended up shooting and killing him. The reason this took so long to post is because I had to edit the original version from what it was. Neither of us intended for this to happen nor did we think it would. This started out with me going "hey, wouldn't it be cool if machine Connor from my fic was the Connor from yours?" It started out as an AU, but, like a good crackship, we found a way to make it canon. I think this is much more interesting and, in a way, redeems machine Connor? even though he's totally different in my fic? but hey, that's fine.  
> Anyway, this'll be touched upon more in oneshots. Speaking of, when I start up the oneshots for this thing, should I put them at the end of this fic like a bunch of epilogues, or should I make another work for them altogether? Let me know~


	15. Only Gold Is Hot Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> did anyone order cheese
> 
> Have I ever mentioned how much I love Dad!Hank and Son!Connor?  
> because the answer is "a lot".
> 
> Hey! A lot of people have been confused about this chapter.  
>  **Both of the scenes that happen in this chapter are scenes that happen in-game, although altered as Reader is there.**  
>  I was vague when I wrote them so you can read them without being too horribly spoiled. That's why the second scene is so confusing. Sorry about that!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you squint, you can see a ship vaguely mentioned. My OTP, if you will.  
> Also Simon is mentioned a lot because not only do I love him, he becomes best friends with Reader after the events of this fic :3c
> 
> my own fic made me consider how Connor and Markus would be like as brothers  
> probably awkward.
> 
> Also a lot of this doesn't make sense because it's explained in canon and I didn't want to spoil it for anyone who hadn't experienced it yet (*cough Cami cough*) so you might have to remember what happened in-game to recognize what's happening here :,)

When Connor showed up to the protest with the army of deviated androids, Markus seemed relieved. They talked for a moment before Markus glanced curiously at you. “A human soulmate… “ he said quietly in wonder. Connor reached an arm around you and pulled you close to press a kiss to your temple as if to prove it. Markus smiled at him. “You’re an interesting man, Connor. I hope you can give hope to the rest of our people. Some of us only became colorblind after we deviated. I wonder what made you different.”

Connor tilted his head and smirked ever so slightly, but the smirk was almost uncomfortable. “I bet you’ve always been colorblind, though, haven’t you, Markus?”

Markus smiled knowingly. “Well… not anymore.”

Connor looked over Markus as if sizing him up. “I wonder why we were different.”

“I guess we might never know.”

You didn’t really understand how Connor had come to that conclusion or what it was that they knew that they weren’t speaking out loud, but you decided not to interrupt to ask. This seemed like a bonding moment for them, and Connor was acting similar to the way he did when he was bonding with Hank - that easy smile that would twitch its way onto his face every so often; his friendly, almost open demeanor. He was treating Markus like…

“It's time to make a speech, Markus,” a PL600 android said, walking up to the deviant leader and putting a hand on his shoulder. You couldn't help but smile at the android, memories of when you and Connor had touched for the first time flooding your mind. You wondered if the one you saved was doing okay.

Connor gripped you a little closer to him and seemed almost... scared, taking a deep breath and trying to return his concerned expression to neutral. Connor once told you of the only time he’d died - he had to save a little girl by pushing a deviant off of a roof, and he’d gone with it. Heights still didn’t sit right with him. You’d seen it on the news, and even though Connor didn’t specify, you knew the deviant had been a PL600. It must've been like seeing a ghost.

You ran a hand along his arm, petting it gently to comfort him. He relaxed ever so slightly.

Markus nodded to the PL600. “Come on, Connor,” he said, walking over to their makeshift stage.

\---

There were so many of them. You would’ve been afraid if you didn’t know that they just wanted to be free. As it was, you were still intimidated.

Connor’s focus kept shifting from the assembled androids, to you, to Markus, and then back again. Whenever his eyes were on you, he was making sure you were okay. It was cold out and he was worried for you. You kept assuring him that you were fine. It wasn't the cold that you were worried about; he’d already given you his jacket to put over your relaxing-at-home clothes that the other RK800 had caught you in. No, you were definitely more worried about being on stage. The news was definitely all focused on Markus, and so were all the androids. But you were mere feet behind Markus. Surely everyone was looking at you, if only to question why you were there and why you were clinging to Connor’s arm like a lifeline.

You heard a soft little whirring noise, not unlike the one when androids were processing payments. You looked up at Connor to find that his face had gone blank and he seemed to be spacing out. It reminded you of the look on the other Connor’s face, right before your Connor had shot him to keep him from moving.

“Connor?” you said softly, shaking his arm slightly to get his attention.

When his eyes came back into focus, you knew he wasn’t Connor anymore. His face was emotionless and his eyes didn’t hold their usual warmth.

“Connor!” you hissed. You knew it wasn’t him, but what else could you call him?

Connor glanced at you indifferently before prying his arm from your grasp and pulling out his gun.

“No, what are you doing?! Who are you? What have you done with Connor?” You made sure to keep your voice down so no one else would hear despite how panicked you were getting. You grabbed at the arm that held the gun and tried to wrench it down. Connor glared at you.

“Let go of me. Now.” It was his voice, but not his tone. Not the way he usually spoke. What happened to him?

The PL600 from earlier, who you knew now as Simon, glanced over at you, looking worried. He’d done that a couple of times tonight, when you were just sitting there in the cold. He was keeping an eye on you, and you were grateful for it in this moment. When he noticed you struggling with Connor, he pried himself away from Markus’s side and went to yours. “Connor,” he said lowly, putting himself between the RK800 and Markus.

Connor aimed his gun at Simon’s head.

“Stop!” you hissed, and, with all of your strength, you shoved yourself into Connor’s torso and tackled him off the platform.

If anyone noticed you, no one mentioned it. Markus tended to command attention, after all. You’d found yourself transfixed by his speeches at times. Not to mention you were behind a few other androids - Connor didn’t like the spotlight for doing what he considered to be “nothing.” 

Simon jumped down to join you and pulled you away from Connor, pushing himself in front of you in a way that instantly made you trust and like him. Connor pushed himself to his feet and his expression darkened dangerously as he turned his attention to you with the gun still firmly held to his palm.

Suddenly, his eyes went far away again, like he was spacing out. When he focused on you, there was that usual Connor warmth. His brow furrowed ever so slightly and he glanced at the gun in his hand as if confused as to how it got there. He looked at you grimly and holstered it.

“So that’s why they let me go,” Connor muttered, turning his attention to Simon for a brief second. You tilted your head and he shook his. “I’ll tell you later.”

You’d hold him to it. That was too worrying to not have an explanation for.

Connor and Simon stared at each other for a moment before Connor stepped forward and held out his hand, synthetic skin falling away. Simon hesitated before taking it. A moment passed and then they were already letting go, with Simon looking almost…  _ horrified. _ He glanced at you and shook his head as he made his way back up on the platform, taking his place next to Markus.

You glanced at Connor and he shook his head. “Later,” he promised again. You were starting to feel nervous about it. Just what was it that was so important that he couldn’t tell you now…?

\---

After the speech, after everything, Connor sought him out. You two found him standing outside his house, looking as if he was waiting for you. The other Connor must’ve been inside. Once he caught sight of your Connor, the two stopped and just looked at each other for a moment. Hank smiled, and Connor smiled slightly back. Then Hank stepped forward to pull Connor into a hug.

Your fingers were freezing by this point, but your heart was warm. You loved your boys. And they loved each other.

When they finally let go of each other, they didn’t say anything. They just looked relieved. Connor glanced back at you and pulled you close, starting a group hug.

There was no place you’d rather be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title references (Fuck A) Silver Lining by Panic! At The Disco  
> (Here u go, the link for the Spotify playlist of music that this fic references in order: <https://open.spotify.com/user/secretlyadog/playlist/14YIIGfeVS90RoU0Wzl1R7?si=K0asi0wvS1StYKspjlPvvA> )
> 
> And here we are, at the end.  
> It's been a really fun ride, guys! I waited a little longer than I would've normally to post this because honestly, I didn't want this to end. But it had to eventually...
> 
> BUT this means it's oneshot time. The general consensus was to just add them on as chapters here, so that's what I'll do. I'm just keeping it at 15/15 for now, until I actually finish a one shot~
> 
> You guys can request any sort of oneshots that you want to see from this universe (like, y'know, if you want to see some Connor/Atlas fluff? Be specific, tho, or I'll have no idea what to write for YEARS) and you can even ask for NSFW? But there's no guarantee I'll be able to do that. I... still have yet to finish a smut scene... (But I DO want to, I promise)  
> They'll be finished in order of whichever one I have the motivation to finish :,D
> 
> And I just want to say... THANK YOU. To everyone who commented or left kudos or just read it in general, thank you SO MUCH. I appreciated all of the comments more than you'll ever know. It felt really nice.
> 
> (also I may or may not be working on an RK900 x reader fic because of a dream I had. I have no idea what name I'm gonna give him tho, so if you have a favorite feel free to let me know~)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I fell in deep when you touched my skin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15557706) by [The_Otter_Knight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Otter_Knight/pseuds/The_Otter_Knight)




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